Leno

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh- it's as simple as that.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

-Jay Leno (O Magazine)

Snail

What do you call a snail on a ship?

A SNAILOR!

Bahahhahahaa!!!

2nd Floor Memorial North

Scene: Two guys walking toward each other in the hallway.

"Hey Kevin," says Rob in his manly voice and tie.

"Hey Rob," Kevin responds with a squeaky voice, wearing a t-shirt and plaid shorts and holding his hand in front of his nose.

"You okay there?"

"Yeah. My nose is running. I don't want anyone to see my nose running."

They cross paths

"Ha, that's alright."

Rob turns the corner and Kevin bolts straight into the men's room and exits less than 30 seconds later with both hands to his side.

End.

Dan in Real Life

You are a MURDERER OF LOVE!!!

I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him!

The Dog Problem

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. -Edward Abbey

Spell-check (1)

Okay, so the first funny thing about this post is that I had to go look up how to spell "spell-check" so I could name this post. According to my dictionary widget, you can either spell it "spell-check" or "spell check." So there you go.

Now to the real story: I was studying with Julie at the Heidelburg (2) at about 10:30 one night and after we bought our potato skins and nachos she started laughing at her computer screen.

"What are you laughing at, J?" I asked.

"I just typed out 'academia' (3) and when I went to spell-check it, I got to choose from either 'academia' or 'macadamia'!" Hahaha!

"I'm glad that you're in grad school and had to spell-check academia."

-end of conversation-

So I'm merely in undergraduate school, providing an excuse for my need to spell-check academia...

Laugh this week, okay? It'll make you live longer.

***words followed by a (#) were subject to the use of spell-check***

Get this thing off me, man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrq_wnNNnY&feature=related

Fairy Talk

I have the incredible privilege to babysit two little fairies every Tuesday! Opal is three and Iris is one. They dance and love to read and play outside and go on walks and pick up special leaves and acorns and sticks and stuff. Last week, I brought my knitting and bag full of yarn, so Opal started telling me "Mama doesn't know how to knit... Mama has none yarn."

Later, we went outside and as I was pushing Iris on the swing, Opal asked me if I could do a flip on the bar. I told her I can do everything. So she asked me "Can you do everything in the whole world like cure a plant with blueberry ice cream?" I said yes.

Soil

I had a soil science exam today so I've been studying like a mad woman. Yesterday I told my housemate, J. Scroggs, what I was studying for and she told me "Okay, well, don't soil yourself!"

I didn't. Don't worry.

Bahahaha!

Car Talk

When someone comes up to you and says "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

Your response should be "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

When a guy tells you "I would go to the ends of the earth for you."

You should respond "Yes, but would you stay there?"

Thanks, Click and Clack!

Little Church Boy

So this morning while Julie and I were trying to go home after church, a little boy walked by with his mom. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and when his mom urged him to keep walking, he slapped the wall. As he started walking, he started licking his hand!!! Julie and I started laughing quite loudly so the boy turned around and we just smiled and Julie said "Good bye!" Then we laughed some more. Bring it, H1N1!

Fridge and Dumpster Singing

I was talking to Logan on the G-Mail chat today and he showed me this hilarious music video. I especially like the guys energetic singing style and the part where he's in the freezer and when they're in the dumpster! Enjoy laughing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNzeOL-xdEI

The Future

I really really love laughing, so I'm going to blog all about laughter! As I gaze into the future at my blog, I see a lot of funny things I've laughed at during the day, funny pictures, funny quotes, laughter quotes, things I laughed at a long time ago, things what would be so funny if they did happen, analysis of different people's laughs, what other people have laughed at, and jokes. Maybe more, however my future telling skills are a little dusty. So, are you ready to laugh? I am!!! Please feel free to post funny things to make other people laugh, too! Cheers!